Tuesday

Back to X-Com Page

Why, why indeed?

I took my seat and sat in silence for the whole trip back to the Marsec
Building.  Thorpe and the others strapped Nat into one of the vacant
padded flight couches.  I watched them disinterestedly and wondered
who was really flying this thing--my body.
	The problem was this--is this:  I shot Nat with the grapple
and didn't feel one bit guilty or disturbed over the matter.  Sure, her
eyes went spectacularly huge with the shock--not the electricity--of my
true nature being revealed to her.  She yelped like a kicked dog for the
five seconds and a half before she slept; she screamed and reached for
me.
	And I kept on squeezing that trigger.
	I stared straight ahead and didn't speak one word when we set
down.  I was a robot--"Watch your head," "Through this door," "Your
pistol please."  I was a robot, and I obeyed.  I didn't ask questions,
because I felt no need.  Everything would be explained in due time.
	What of my friends?  Wolf, Hap, Nat, Casey--all were
paraded before me and then pulled back, out of sight.  We served our
purposes and then were removed from the board or hidden, waiting for
the next thrust and feint.  None of us were responsible for anything;
we were all marionettes, all pawns in a grand duel between masters,
giants hidden in the darkness, hidden from even the corners of our
eyes.
	Marionettes, pawns, bullshit.  The time for answers comes; I
am going to Mars.  I am trading one blood-soaked planet for another,
where the stains of war may be dried, but where they still mar the
land.  
	Mars.
	Am I going there because I want answers?  No.  I am going
there because I have been called there, beckoned by the puppet master. 
I shall meet him and have my head filled with the soft gravel of his
truthes.
	I shall be mended and armed again, readied for the brewing
storm.  War is coming and soldiers are needed.  Infantry.  Cannon
fodder.  Pawns.
	I too, have killed; and I too, shall kill again.

5/26/98



Whoa.
	I reread some of the earlier portions of this Arc.  They were,
as some readers have noted, hardcore pessimistic 1984-style stuff.
	Then things got happier.
	I promise you this; in the following Arc (or two) things will
get worse than they were at the beginning.  The situation will become
so painfully rough that Mr. Williams will inevitably attempt to do the
only honorable thing . . .
	Oh, and I might actually write about XCOM!



END TRANSMISSION.  BEGIN SHAMELESS THANK-YOUS.	

First off, thanks all to you readers who put up with my shit.  Y'all kick
ass!  (No--not a Pantera fan.  Really.)

Thanks goes out to Mike and Rowan and that girl that I haven't found
yet but I suspect is named Kelli--if this is more than a touch
autobiographical, then certain characters are more than a touch based
upon you.  Zach, you too.  Best driver I know.

Thornley and Matzke, thanks for not entirely killing my love of
writing with incredibly large essays.

And most of all, thanks goes out to Fernando and Rakki and Leo--the guys who took me out behind the
barn and said, "Listen up punk--you can't compete with our shit.  Find another way."

Ben Fischer, www.geocities.com/NapaValley/3169/index.htm

X-COM (and XCOM) are trademarks of MicroProse Software. Get yourself a copy!

X-COM: UFO Defence is copyright 1996 by Microprose Software, Inc. All rights reserved.

X-COM is based on characters and design by Mythos Games.