If Infocom had written X-COM

Bottom of the Ramp.

>look
You are at the bottom of the ramp of your Skyranger. The rest of your
squad can be seen in the Skyranger, to the west. There is a large hedge
blocking your path to the south. A gate leads to an open pasture to the
east. To the north is a small, white house. It is nighttime.

>inventory
You are currently holding:
-your standard issue rifle
-four standard issue rifle magazines
-a handheld motion detector
-two standard issue grenades
-two electric flares
-a proximity grenade

You are also wearing the latest in fashionable X-COM body armour.

>examine motion detector
The motion detector reveals no motion.

"Well, get on with it!", your Squad Leader yells from above.

>examine rifle
Your rifle is standard X-COM issue, firing 6.5 millimeter caseless ammo,
one of the deadliest weapons in the world. You are filled with
confidence just looking at it.

There is a small switch on the side of the rifle.

>examine small switch
It has two positions: "S" and "F". The switch is currently pointed
towards the "S"

There is a terrible scream from the north!

>throw switch
The switch flips over, readying the rifle for action with an ominous
click.

>n
Back of the House

You walk up the short path to the back door of the small, white house.
To the north is the closed door of the house. Your path to the west is
blocked by a low, decorative fence. A footpath leads around the eastern
side of the house. The ramp of your Skyranger is to the south. It is
darker here, away from the light of the Skyranger.

There is a dead goat here.

>examine goat
The goat has been sliced open from throat to anus, and had it's internal
organs removed. It is quite dead.

>examine house
Before you is a small, white house. The path you are standing upon leads
to a closed door in front of you. There are windows on either side of
the door.

>open door
The door is locked.

>kick door
The door is made of sterner stuff than you. You wish you had spent more
time in the base gym.

>kick door
You produce a loud "thud", but nothing else.

>shoot lock
There is now a hole in the door.

>open door
Although now not locked, the door still does not open. It seems that it
may be barred from the inside.

>shoot window
Which window? The left or the right window?

>right window
You've always wanted to do this! The plate glass window shatters into a
thousand pieces.

>enter right window
You begin to enter the window, but the jagged line of broken glass along
the bottom edge gives you second thoughts. Maybe you had better find
another entrance.

>e
South East corner of the House

You are at the south east corner of the house. The path continues on
into the darkness, to the north. To the west is the back door of the
house. Your path is blocked to the east by a large hedge. A fence blocks
your way to the south.

>n
It is pitch black. You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

>examine flare
You can't! It's too dark to see!

>s
South East corner of the House

>examine flare
The flare is round, made of two translucent halves, with a powerful LED
in the center. There is a small sticker with barely legible writing on
the side. There is a button on the side.

>read sticker
"Product of Frobozz Electric. Made in Port Foozle."

>push button
The flare lights up with a nearly blinding light.

>n
East Side of the House

You are on a path leading along the east side of the house. There are
two open windows here, west of you, but a low hedge prevents you from
entering them. The path continues to the north, or you can go south. A
large hedge prevents movement to the east.

Your motion detector is glowing faintly.

>n
North East corner of the House

The path leads from the side of the house around to the front. You can
follow the path back to the south, or to the Front Door, west. A large
hedge blocks your way to the east. There is a sidewalk to the north.

Your motion detector is glowing faintly.

>w
The Front Door

You stand before the front door of the house. The door is open to the
south. The front walk leads towards a mailbox to the north, and a path
leads away east. A flower bed blocks any movement westward.

Your motion detector is glowing faintly.

>s
Parlor

You are in the parlor of the white house. There is a closed wet closet
to the west. Another open door leads south. You can exit the house to
the north.

There is a hat rack here.

Your motion detector is glowing.

>s
Living Room

You are in a sparsely appointed living room. The furniture, while
pleasant, is somewhat dingy. It also seems to be quite blood-splattered.
There is a TV on a stand against the far wall, and sofa and loveseat set
in the center of the room. A personal computer sits in a hutch against
the east wall. The parlor lies to the north. An open door leading to the
kitchen is to the east, and a dark hallway leads to the west.

There is a TV here. It is on, tuned to "Independence Day"

There is a personal computer here. It is on. It is currently displaying
a screen full of flying toastie makers.

There is a Snakeman here, holding a plasma rifle. He looks surprised.

Your motion detector is glowing brightly.

>shoot Snakeman
You shoot the Snakeman in the center of the chest. It only succeeds in
making him angry.

The Snakeman shoots at you with his plasma rifle. He misses badly.

Your motion detector is glowing brightly.

>shoot Snakeman
Once again, you shoot the Snakeman square in the chest. He is really mad
now.

The Snakeman shoots at you with his plasma rifle. He misses to the left.

Your motion detector is glowing brightly.

>shoot Snakeman
Once again, you shoot the Snakeman square in the chest. He is livid.

The Snakeman shoots at you with his plasma rifle. He misses to the
right.

Your motion detector is glowing brightly.

>shoot Snakeman
Once again, you shoot the Snakeman square in the chest. He is livid.

The Snakeman shoots at you with his plasma rifle. He just misses,
hitting the floor in front of you. He won't miss next time.

>kill Snakeman
Tired of this tom-foolery, you decide to end this little game... now.
Holding down the trigger, you fill the Snakeman with enough lead to sink
a battleship. He falls to the floor, twitching spastically.

You have just earned 10 points.

There is a dead Snakeman here.

Your motion detector is glowing faintly.

>examine computer
It is your standard, run of the mill Frobozz Personal Electronics home
computer. It has a mouse (not the rodent), a keyboard, two speakers, and
a monitor, which is currently occupied by many flying toastie makers.

There is an enticing smell coming from the east.

Your motion detector is glowing faintly.

>e
Kitchen

A small kitchen, bare except for a sink, refrigerator, a stove, and
microwave. A door opens to the west.

A delicious smell pervades the room.

There is a toastie maker here, sitting on the counter.

Your motion detector is glowing faintly.

>examine toastie maker.
It seems to be a normal toastie maker. Printed on top are the words
"Frobozz Electric Toasted Sandwich Maker". It is closed.

>open toastie maker
Opening the toastie maker reveals two freshly made toasties.

>take toasties
You can't! You are carrying too much. You'll have to drop something.
Maybe your rifle?

>drop rifle
Dropped.

>take toasties
You take both of the toasties.

You have just earned 5 points.

>eat toastie
It's a cheese toastie, your favorite! And it's still warm! Mmmmmm...

You have just earned 5 points.

>w
Living Room

Your motion detector is glowing faintly.

>operate computer

Moving the mouse, you reveal that a newsgroup reader is open. It is
currently displaying the message logs for a newsgroup called
alt.games.x-com.

Your motion detector is glowing.

>read newsgroup, eat toastie

The newsgroup is quite fascinating, with many interesting and
intelligent posters. You find yourself drawn in.

Your motion detector is glowing.

cheese toastie: eaten
Yummy, yummy cheese!

You have just earned 5 points.

A Chrysallid has just entered the room!

Your motion detector is glowing brightly.

>shoot chrysallid
With what?

>with rifle
You don't have a rifle!

The Chrysallid moves closer, clicking it's claws in anticipation.

>e
Kitchen

There is an open toastie maker here. It appears to be empty.

There is a standard issue rifle here.

Your motion detector is glowing.

>take rifle
You pick up your rifle. It feels good to have it back in your hands.

The Chrysallid has just entered the room!

Your motion detector is glowing brightly.

>shoot Chrysallid
You carefully take aim and shoot the Chrysallid in the middle of the
thorax. It seems to have no effect.

The Chrysallid advances quickly...

>shoot Chrysallid
This time you shoot the Chrysallid in the middle of the head. The bullet
caroms off the creatures thick armour and then ricochets off of the
toastie maker, finally ending up in your leg. You fall to the floor in
pain.

The Chrysallid approaches, hissing in amusement...

Plunging it's ovipositor deep into your abdomen, it implants an embryo
that quickly takes over your body, turning you into a drooling,
shuffling zombie.

Under control of the alien embryo, you move back outside to the
Skyranger, where the X-COM commander seems only too happy to shoot you
with a rocket launcher. With it's human host now dead, the now fully
matured Chrysallid bursts
forth from the wreckage of your body, to dash quickly up the ramp and
implant several of your squad mates, including your commander, with more
embryos. If only you had chosen to kill the Chrysallid instead of just
shooting at it...

You are dead.

Your score is 25 out of a possible 550 points, giving you the rank of
Floater Bait.

Would you like to Restore, Quit, or Start Over?

>quit

-JScott See, look what you made me do!