Two Sisters of Battle are driving around in an Immolator down the back streets of Orphelius IV one late afternoon. As it turns dusk, the increasing darkness starts making one of the Sisters a little nervous. She leans over to the other and says, "You know, I've never come this way before."
The other SoB replies, "It's the cobblestones!"

Four battle sisters die in a horrible firefight and immediately ascend to the gates of heaven. They stand before the spirit of the gatekeeper, humbly awaiting admittance.
The gatekeeper looks at them with a smile and calmly announces "Only the purest of souls may pass this gate, step forward and absolve your sins". The first sister strides forward with confidence "I am without sin, I have been a faithful servant of the Emperor since birth". The gatekeeper smiles, lifting a large book from a podium "It says here that you once touched a mans penis, what have you to say?" The sister, embarrassed, drops to her knees in penance. The gatekeeper smiles and points to a large font of holy water "You need to but wash the offending appendage and enter with a pure heart"
The sister quickly washes her hand and strides through the gate. The gatekeeper looks up at the three remaining sisters as a violent fight breaks out. Finally one of the sisters prevails and quickly makes her way to holy water. The gatekeeper, a look of shock on his face, stops the sister short "In the name of all that is holy, what are you doing?"
The sister, a look of guilt on her face, gazes downward in shame "Your holiness, if you think I'm going to gargle that holy water after Sister Mary washes her crotch and Sister Catherine washes her ass, you're crazy".

Q. What is red, black and white and has a hard time getting through a revolving door?

A. A battle sister with a laserlance through her head

Two Adeptus Sororitas went into a local bar. They walk up to the bartender and ask for 2 bottles of brandy. The bartender looks back at them and asks why they, being holy and all want the wiskey. The two Sororitas explain to him that, it is not for them but for their Superior's constipation....

A few hours later the bartender is closing up shop when he hears a noise from the alley behind his bar. Further investigation reveals that it is the two Adeptus Sororitas, mostly empty bottles in hand, drunker than an irishman.

He storms up to the two Adeptus Sororitas and says "I thought this brandy was for your Sister Superior's bowel problems....!"

One of the Sororitas replies, "It ish... sheees gonnna shit when sheee sees us."

Some guy's driving along when he picks up a Battle Sister hitchiker. He asks her: "So, Adeptus Sororitas can't 'do it'?"
"No, we're not supposed to."
"Would you if noone would find out."
"Well, I would, but he'd have to be a virgin."
"Hey, I'm a virgin! Would you do me in the backseat?"
"Well, okay."

5 minutes later....

"Oh man I got you good! I'm married with three children!"
"Oh yeah? Well, my name is Ron and I'm headed for a costume party."